No one can define love, just as there is no exact definition for good sex. Everyone means something different by this: the number and quality of orgasms, the duration of the process itself, the emotional response. One way or another, good sex is the state and sensations of intimacy that we always strive for, having experienced them at least once or imagining what they should be. And if a man is lucky in this matter (he does not need much for happiness), then a woman often has to wait for years “by the sea of weather”. About good sex for men and for women tells sexologist, sex coach and psychologist Alex May.
Good sex won’t fall on your head just because you fell in love. Good sex is a matter of mindfulness. Hot love will pass, hormones will return to normal, and sex will remain, and what it will be depends only on the two of you. It can be a holiday, or it can be an obligation. Statistics show that couples who have lived 5 years have sex a couple of times a week, and the duration of intimacy along with foreplay is 7 minutes. Just think about it…
Good sex is not only an orgasm, but the whole way to it.
I work with women and men separately. A woman is an emotional creature, highly dependent on the state of her inner world and hormonal status. The man looks like a toggle switch, which has only 2 positions: “on” and “off”. They really have a hard time and sometimes unbearable with each other, simply because they don’t understand each other’s psychology and physiology well. Here are 10 rules that I think are at the heart of good sex.
Rules of good sex for men
- It is necessary to understand the mechanisms of female excitability. A man starts quickly, and a woman does not know how to do this. On average, it takes her about 40 minutes to tune in to the right wave: her arousal is slow and increasing. Moreover, each woman is excited in her own way and from different things. Even if a woman after 5 minutes asks that everything happen right here and now, do not believe her and stretch the foreplay. The effect will pleasantly surprise you.
- “Calibration” for a specific woman. Every woman is unique, as are her fingerprints. The principles of any sexual techniques remain the same, but the speed, inclination, depth of penetration and intensity are not. Carefully monitor the reaction, constantly try different options and find those that bring the most pleasure. Don’t stop searching, observe and explore!
- Start talking honestly. If a woman for some reason can not reach orgasm, she usually feels guilty and “broken”, withdraws into herself and will not even talk about this topic first. Therefore, she will have to say the same thing several times so that she understands that you are not joking. Tell her that you really need feedback from her, because it really matters to you that the time spent with you in bed is the best in her life. Be the initiator of this conversation, no matter how difficult it may be for you. Not the first time, but the woman will start talking to you honestly about what she wants.
- “Ladies go!” any gentleman knows this rule. Make every effort to make a woman enjoy herself first. But if you don’t succeed, don’t get upset, because good sex is not only an orgasm, but the whole way to it.
- Responsibility for health lies with you. It’s not about unwanted pregnancy, but about it too. There are different cases, but a man always (especially with a new partner) should be the initiator of the use of a condom. A woman may be embarrassed to ask for this. This offer will be perceived as an indicator of your reliability.
Rules of good sex for women
For the sake of justice, it is worth saying that a woman can also give a man the best sex in his life, which he will remember with tears of happiness in his eyes. But a man is less emotional than a woman, so most of the rules boil down to techniques.
- Don’t draw far-reaching conclusions from minor facts. As a rule, a man is not at all disturbed by what, as you think, worries him. Honestly ask! If a man is not in the mood to have sex today, do not immediately look for a mistress in his notebook. If it seems to you that during sex he does not think about you at all, just then share with him your experiences.
- Do not compare, even in a favorable light for the partner. If a man likes you, the last thing he wants to think about is that you had someone else. He knows this, but it is not worth reminding him once again, even if the comparison will be in his favor.
- Take as much as possible from (once your man studied on this manual). Watch a couple of videos and observe how the actresses behave (you do not need to look at the camera in the process). Become more relaxed, sensual, add sounds and visual images to your intimacy: leave a little light, whisper in your ear about how good you are… A man does not like the ideal proportions of the figure, but a woman who loves sex and knows how to enjoy it. Most of all in a woman, a man appreciates the ability to verbally convey the storm of emotions that he causes in her. Give him that joy.
If a man likes you, the last thing he wants to think about is that you had someone else.
- Learn to handle his sign of courage with care. If you start caressing, take care of the lubricant (lubricant, grape seed oil). This will significantly enhance the pleasant sensations and help not to damage the tender places. Whatever you do, always observe your partner’s reaction. Remember, you have the most valuable thing in your hands and he trusts you with it!
- Don’t be afraid to take the initiative. Often men want a woman to start the game first. Tell him you don’t mind…Do not forget that quality sex is the responsibility of both parties, who sometimes just have to tell each other honestly about what could be better. Few men know that there are 11 types of female orgasm, and at the same time, few women know their own physiology and understand how to achieve at least one. To begin with, learn to talk honestly and without hesitation, do not be afraid to offend. They are offended by deception and cheating, and not by trying to make sex the best in life.
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